Is it worth it?

When we starting our flower farming adventure in 2012, I had no idea what it would cost. I’m not talking about pricey seeds or costly equipment – I’m speaking of how it would affect my health.

The cold, hard truth is that flower farming is a marathon of extremely difficult and grinding work. Sure, our harvest days are filled with bounty and beauty beyond compare, but in order to get to that point, there is an incredible amount of mental energy (planning and strategizing), muscle-work (moving earth is not for the faint of heart), and repetitive task-work that has to happen.

In the beginning, it was a sacrifice I was absolutely willing to make: to fully give myself to the job of building a farm business from scratch. It required so many hours that between early morning deliveries, late night bunching or seeding, and being a mother to very young children, I could not sleep enough. It seemed like a reasonable sacrifice the first season, and by the second I saw amazing fruit from my labor: we joined a cooperative of growers, which gave us access to a powerful existing group of customers. Our business was growing so quickly that my husband Steve left his day job to come home and we began working together. I was still giving 200% of myself to grow the business, however, and as it grew, so did its demands. Going into years three and four the trend continued, and although the frantic pace began to take its toll on my body, I felt that if I just ate healthier, dropped some extra pounds, became more fit, dug a little deeper…. and hung on until the winter “break,” then it would all even out. I could continue the super-human exertion.

We hired several employees in years four and five, but instead of transferring work to them we just allowed more and more work to creep in so that we remained as busy as ever, with no relief in sight. We were stretched so thin that things came to a breaking point for me physically in 2016, the year we bought our own farm and moved our existing operation to it (mid season!), remodeled a farm house, and went through tremendously stressful upheaval in our business relationships. It was almost the end of me, almost the end of our family relationship.

BUT. It did not have to be this way. It seemed like the only option along the way of those first 5 years of meteoric growth, but let me repeat – IT DID NOT HAVE TO BE this way.

I wish, more than anything else about flower farming, I could communicate this to every dear, aspiring farmer who crosses my path: Don’t completely give your physical stamina and strength to your business. Please don’t exhaust yourself for years (or even months) at a time in exchange for stronger or faster business growth! Please pace yourself, set realistic goals, remember that you’re human.

Pace yourself:

I love to meet new, energetic, ambitious, zealous flower farmers. There’s a magic and energy around them that is unmistakable, irresistible! But it is true that we all have a limited about of “life-energy,” and there is wisdom in pacing yourself to expend it over the length of time you wish to flower farm instead of using it all up in the first few years. Careful, purposeful pacing is not laziness.

Set realistic goals:

And by this I don’t mean that you have to “settle,” but by this, I do mean that you can choose to resist damaging your body by making an attainable plan instead of filling your life with everything possible until you reach your breaking point. In our internship program (note: no internship openings in 2020) we have spent a good amount of time talking with our flower-farmers-in-training about making a business plan right from Year One. Having a plan gives you direction and keeps you on track if you have leanings toward procrastination, but it also helps you control yourself if you have unchecked ambition (as I did).

Remember that you’re human:

As I write this, it’s twilight at the farm, and my whole world is bathed in warm, pink light. I’m in the farmhouse kitchen, and my heart is so full. I’m overwhelmed with the beauty of this moment, with the relief that often washes over me when I remember how I used to feel (constant fight-or-flight mode, “stuck at ON,” physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually burned out, living at far too fast a pace, teetering on the edge of depression, constantly anxious), and how thankful I am to be standing here today. As humans we’re created to crave beauty, and when we consistently put off “feeding” ourselves (with real and nourishing rest, with truly taking in the beauty that surrounds us), we will eventually cave to misery.

There is so much hope for those of us who’ve capitulated to the grind, whether in the flower farming world or in any other realm of (especially small) business, and part of that hope for me personally includes the opportunity to impact others for good. I want to help new farmers learn to grow well, to mentor them in good business practices, but also to help them be wise as they plan their future and to show them by example what good self care looks like.

In 2018, we are changing a lot about how our farm operates, and I’ll be sharing generously about that here. We are targeting our sales to the least stressful avenues (with a huge range of criteria determining what is “stressful” for us…). Will they be the most lucrative avenues? Time will tell. Will they be the most intense and demanding avenues? Certainly not. Our priorities are changing… and I expect to see our quality of life go up, our cortisol levels plummet.

Follow along our story to see how it all works out! We appreciate so much hearing from those of you who are cheering for us, and look forward to communicating more with you this year.